Welcome! In my work, I hope more than anything to share a space that is accepting and openhearted, to witness together what needs to be witnessed. Healing can come quickly when parts of us that are used to being alone or criticized feel the warmth of Self directly, sometimes for the first time. It’s often not easy–if it were we’d just do it and not suffer so much. Our protective parts, some perhaps even questioning if healing and connection are even possible, block the warmth of Self. I have found IFS a powerful approach for getting to know our Protectors, the (often) young parts they protect, and inviting Self in to be with it all. I am passionate about being with people in ways that deepen life and connection, and grateful to be with you on paths to healing, meaning, and purpose.
I was a curious kid and still am curious. Intrigued with our human journey—through struggle and triumph; connection and disconnection; valleys and mountain tops, and the space between where most of life is lived. It’s been a process to learn to be at ease inside my mind and body, and relationships. It takes patience and partnerships, and for most of us, learning how to take it easy on ourselves with compassion and acceptance. IFS has helped me shift from “What’s wrong with me!?” to “Who in me needs help right now?” I think it’s so cool in nature and within us, that among the relationships of many parts there is wholeness. Sometimes I lose touch, like someone just turned out the lights. One of the biggest reliefs that has come on this path is to know I’ll be okay, if I just keep breathing, rest, listen. What can feel a million miles away, is often right around the corner. There is a home even for our most lost, forgetful, fearful parts.
I believe people are good and do the best they can. When struggles and symptoms arise, they are in context and not because the person is bad or somehow lacking in essence. I value people’s strengths and expertise on their own life, focusing less on diagnoses and more on making meaning and personal author-ity.
My Contexts
In addition to individual, couple, and family counseling, I provide post-graduate therapy supervision to licensees, consult about the integration of the Internal Family Systems model, body-based practice, and spiritually-integrated approaches, including spiritual & religious trauma, and spiritual transitions. I also enjoy my work with spiritual care trainees in the hospital setting. I learn many lessons from my community in St. Paul, which straddles the worlds of gentrification and racial and socio-economic diversity. I am both part of a multi-racial family and the dominant culture, and am committed to cultural humility and growth. I enjoy running around the bluffs of the Mississippi, carpentry, and travel, especially in Thailand. I live with my spouse, daughter, cat and dog.
Education, Credentials & Training
- Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist (MN Lic. # 1670)
- MN LMFT Board Approved Supervisor
- Internal Family Systems, Level 3 Trained
- Presence Psychotherapy, Level 1 Trained
- ACPE Certified Educator
- B.S. in Psychology
- M.Div. with Marriage & Family Studies Concentration
- Post-Graduate Certificate in Marriage & Family Therapy
Guiding Words
Contrary to what we may have been taught to think, unnecessary and unchosen suffering wounds us but need not scar us for life. It does mark us. What we allow the mark of our suffering to become is in our own hands.
Bell Hooks
If we were all fully Self-led, all parts and people would be welcome. One quality of Self is connectedness–not only the desire to connect, but the in-our-bones knowledge that we are all connected, so when one of us suffers, we all suffer.
Richard Schwartz
No one is rich enough that they can’t receive; no one is poor enough that they can’t give.
Emmanuel Mulenga
Kyle Vlach, LMFT 