Welcome! I am passionate about being with people in ways that deepen life and connection, and grateful to be with people on their paths to healing, meaning, and purpose.
I was a curious kid and still am curious. I’m intrigued with our human journey—through struggle and triumph; connection and disconnection; valleys and mountain tops, and the space between where most of life is lived. It’s a process to learn to be at ease, inside our minds and bodies, and in our relationships. It takes patience and partnerships, and for most of us, learning how to take it easy on ourselves with compassion and acceptance. Internal Family Systems (IFS) has helped me grow the capacity to love myself and help clients do the same. Instead of internal warring and judgment–“What’s wrong with me!?”–I am more able to ask with love, “Who in me needs help?” I am amazed by the paradox in nature and within us, that among the relationships of many parts there is wholeness.
When we learn to listen from our deepest Self, burdened parts of us release their fear and pain and find a more genuine and spacious home within us. Life is never easy, but we can find hope and connection to ourselves and others, as we learn to let our amazing souls shine.
What has helped me?
Seeking has led me down many helpful roads, including study focused on a “systems” perspective. Systems Theory explores the interplay of the many contexts that shape us. I believe people are good and do the best they can. When struggles and symptoms arise, they are in context and not because the person is bad or somehow lacking in essence. I value people’s strengths and expertise on their own life, focusing less on diagnoses and more on eliciting meaning and personal author-ity.
My Contexts
Practicing as a Marriage & Family Therapist, is a good fit for me considering these perspectives and values. In addition to individual, couple, and family counseling, I provide post-graduate therapy supervision to licensees, consult about the integration of the Internal Family Systems model, body-based practice, and spiritually-integrated approaches. I also enjoy my work with spiritual care trainees in the hospital setting. I learn many lessons from my community in St. Paul, which straddles the worlds of gentrification and racial and socio-economic diversity. I am both part of a multi-racial family, and the dominant culture, and am committed to cultural humility and growth. I enjoy running around the bluffs of the Mississippi, carpentry, and travel, especially in Thailand. I live with my spouse, daughter, cat and dog
Education, Credentials & Training
- Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist (MN Lic. # 1670)
- MN LMFT Board Approved Supervisor
- Internal Family Systems, Level 3 Trained
- ACPE Certified Educator
- B.S. in Psychology
- M.Div. with Marriage & Family Studies Concentration
- Post-Graduate Certificate in Marriage & Family Therapy
Guiding Words
Contrary to what we may have been taught to think, unnecessary and unchosen suffering wounds us but need not scar us for life. It does mark us. What we allow the mark of our suffering to become is in our own hands.
Bell Hooks
If we were all fully Self-led, all parts and people would be welcome. One quality of Self is connectedness–not only the desire to connect, but the in-our-bones knowledge that we are all connected, so when one of us suffers, we all suffer.
Richard Schwartz
No one is rich enough that they can’t receive; no one is poor enough that they can’t give.
Emmanuel Mulenga
Kyle Vlach, LMFT 